At Your Door
by blueandblack
Summary: Jacob/Leah, allusions to Jacob/Bella. Set during Eclipse.


It started because she was bored, that's what she told herself. Because she was bored and Seth was giving her shit, making oh-so-clever jokes about something he'd heard when they'd been out running the night before.

_I miss being kissed, being in love, dreaming of a boy, not Sam, not Sam, no, just a boy, maybe even - _

Thankfully that was all that had slipped through her mind before she'd caught herself. And thankfully Seth was the only one who dared to listen anymore; she'd never been able to bring herself to think anything truly horrible about him. She may be a bitch these days – _ha ha_ - but he was still her baby brother.

When Sue popped her head into the living room and said she was taking dinner over to Billy Black and would probably eat with him, Seth forgot his mocking for a moment, spun around excitedly.

"Can we order pizza?' he asked

"No," Sue said sternly, "I've left chicken and rice for you."

His face fell, but he brightened instantly when Leah got up, smiled blandly and said she'd go with her. Home alone. That was nearly as cool as pizza.

--

Jacob wasn't home when they got there and halfway through dinner Leah really wished she'd just stayed with Seth.

Those two facts were in no way connected.

Her mother and Billy were having an incredibly fascinating (boring) conversation about being a single parent in a modern society and Leah was scratching at her empty plate, hoping they would notice and set her free.

--

She was outside on the porch tying knots in pieces of grass when Jacob walked up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, looking not-so-pleasantly surprised.

Leah just shrugged, and he went inside.

--

He'd already eaten with Embry, but he got through most of Sue's leftovers anyway, straight out of the pot with the wooden spoon in the time it took for the kettle to boil.

He was on his way to his room when Billy called after him, wheeled himself out into the hallway.

"Jacob, where're you going?"

He frowned. Billy didn't usually need to be filled in on every detail of his life.

"Uh, bed. I'm beat."

"Leah is here," Billy said.

"Yeah," Jacob replied, frown deepening, "I saw her already. So?"

"So you don't leave a young lady out on the porch on her own."

Jacob just stared at his father for a moment, trying to read his expression, figure out if he was being serious.

Billy nodded his head toward the front door. "Go on," he commanded, adding "And pick up some cocoa from Sue on the way."

Jacob sighed, inched past Billy's chair in the confined space, muttering "What are we living in the fifties? The young lady is a friggin' werewolf."

--

Leah was surprised when he came back out with the cocoa. She raised an eyebrow and Jacob wished he could tell her his dad had made him do it without sounding like a total asshole, because he was pretty sure she was going to give him hell about this later with the guys.

(She didn't.)

They talked for a little while and it was strange, a lot easier than it should have been. Still, Leah didn't touch her cocoa, and Jacob wondered idly if she thought he might have spat in it or something.

--

After that, life was especially boring and Seth was especially irritating and Leah found herself tagging along with Sue to Billy's place regularly.

When Jacob was around, Billy would give him a look and he'd go sit with Leah, ask her questions to pass the time.

"Are you gonna go to college?" "Nah. Maybe. Yeah."

"Summer plans?" "Just hang around here, I guess. Or start a band, get famous. Whatever."

"You play?" "Mm. I sing. Sort of."

"Why are you such an asshole?" "Um, what?"

Jacob sighed. He hadn't meant to ask her anything that actually _meant_ something, but it had been gnawing at him ever since she joined the pack.

What had _happened_ to her? Growing up she had always seemed cool. Not the sweetest girl around, but not a hard-ass bitch either. And now… Was it the wolf? Was it Sam? Could love really fuck you up that much? Because if so, he was in trouble.

She was staring at him, waiting for him to explain that little outburst.

"I don't mean now," he clarified, silently cursing himself for getting into this. "I mean when we're running. Why are you such a jerk to everyone?"

Leah looked down, felt her cheeks burn and not in a pleasant way. "Um, I dunno… I guess, just…" she sighed, rolled her eyes. She had no idea how to explain something she didn't really understand herself.

She glanced up at Jacob with a quiet "Sorry?" before looking away again.

Jacob nodded like he wasn't completely thrown for a loop by the question-apology. "Sure, sure. I was just wondering is all."

--

More often than not Jacob wasn't there when Leah visited, and the absence sometimes tugged threateningly at her insides.

Once, when she looked around – clearly less casually than she had hoped - Billy told her Jake was in the garage with Bella Swan, said she should take some iced tea out to them. Leah shook her head quickly, mumbled a hybrid of _don't want to bother them_ and _really want to watch the game. _

And so she found herself stuck between Billy and Bella's dad on the couch. Sue got the comfy chair.

One hour, two. Two and a quarter.

She chewed on her thumbnail. How long can you spend in a stupid garage anyway?

--

Eventually Leah didn't need to wait for Sue to visit and Billy didn't have to give Jacob the look. He didn't mind talking to Leah, and it seemed like the more they got to know each other as humans, the less she felt the need to lash out as the wolf.

The pack was a little stunned by their new… what was this? A _friendship?_ But ultimately they were grateful for anything that would make Leah think happy thoughts.

--

And Leah did think happy thoughts – and angry thoughts and scared thoughts, hurt, embarrassed, confused, longing, bliss, the end of the world… She was careful to think all of these things when she was human, because she thought all of them about Jacob.

_I miss being kissed, being in love, dreaming of a boy, not Sam, not Sam, no, just a boy, maybe even - _

Except Jacob wasn't just a boy, and the only reason she wasn't agonizing over imprinting right now was because her mind was too full of Bella Fucking Swan.

--

Leah hated asking for things, especially when she really, really wanted them.

"If it was up to me I'd just not go, but since dad died, mom's all 'life is short' and she already bought me the stupid dress, so…"

Jacob shifted his weight between his feet.

_Prom._

He looked about as uncomfortable as she felt.

"Right, but… why me?"

She shrugged, the corners of her mouth turning down, nose in the air.

"Why don't you just ask…"

Jacob's mind scratched through all the names that came up. Leah smirked.

"Yeah, you see my problem."

He hung his head, bit his lip for a moment before looking up. "Sorry, I'd like to help you out Leah, but I'm busy that night."

Leah's eyes narrowed. "I didn't even tell you when it is!"

"Uh… I saw like, posters, at school."

He shuffled nervously and her eyes narrowed even further as she leaned forward on the balls of her feet. "What date is it then, Jacob?"

"Um… May… thirrrt-teee-twe-fouurrr…"

Leah threw her hands up, started down the porch steps.

"Oh fine. Forget it. I'll just go stag. Or better yet, I'll make Seth go with me, cos that would just be…" She finished that sentence with a snort and a sharp laugh.

Jacob's hands twitched at his sides and he gritted his teeth, muttered something under his breath before calling out "Leah, I'll… Okay."

She turned quickly, pressed her lips together against a smile.

"Really?"

Jacob shook his head, but his resigned smile told her it meant _Yeah, really._

She pressed her lips tighter, tried to keep them straight when she said. "Thanks. It's the thirtieth."

Jacob groaned, smacked his forehead with his palm, grinned ruefully. "See I knew I should have gone with my gut."

Leah headed for the car, let herself smile wide when he couldn't see.

--

Prom didn't happen. Well, it did, but without Leah or Jacob or any of the wolves. The whole army of vampires thing sort of took precedence, and Leah heard Jacob's relief far too clearly in the woods.

_Right. Because blood-sucking fiends or a couple of hours in a tux with Leah Clearwater. That's a no-brainer._

As soon as she thought it she wished she hadn't. Or she wished she'd at least made it more sarcastic and less pitiful.

Jacob focussed pretty much exclusively on Bella Swan's hair after that.

_Silky, soft brown, little wisps that float up in the light_

Leah stopped coming around with Sue – at all – and Jacob never asked why.

--

When he was hurt, she knew he would heal, but she still struggled to turn away when she got too near the house.

When he left, she was irrationally – _pathetically, you idiot_ - shocked that he didn't say goodbye. She may have cried, just a little.

--

A week before the wedding Jacob came back, circled around town for a few hours clutching at his battered heart and wound up at Leah's door.

(Not Leah's door, the Clearwaters' door, and Sue went straight for the phone of course.)

Jacob was dirty and tired, dressed in rags. Leah nearly swallowed all the air between them when he took her hand, pulled her behind the house and kissed her.

She knew it was a hurt thing for him, an anger and rejection thing, and maybe it was for her too, all this being in love, all this dreaming of him.

And maybe it didn't matter what it was, not right now, because she missed being kissed, and later on, when she stood in front of the mirror and touched her fingers to her lips, she would smile, blush, look away, think to herself _Jacob Black is pretty damn good at that stuff._


End file.
